What is the point of going on?

I answered your other question. The act of writing a poem is an act of creation, and is a hopeful sign. I like your style and sensibilities, except that positive things often have to be forced to happen. I advised that you are severely depressed, and need to go to your family doctor or a psychiatrist he recommends. Take a friend with you for moral support. I also wrote to you about the benefits of the psych ward. Depression IS treatable. The point is you have to make it happen by getting things started.